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OUR CORE VALUES: Multi-Dimensional Reconciliation
February 8, 2010 by Jeremy · Leave a Comment
Photo: Matt Addington
Call it settling accounts, setting to rights, or the restoration of friendly relations - reconciliation is why we do what we do.
There are thousands of children in Iraq who are born with hearts “at odds” with the good intentions of GOD when He created the world. We want to set that physical situation to rights; to reconcile what is with what should be.
But a healed heart is an occasion for only a tempered celebration if your family is living in the middle of civil conflict between ethnic neighbors or regional superpowers. Sure, much of this strife comes from global issues that are beyond our direct reach. But a few days on the ground in Arab Iraq, Kurdish Iraq, Turkey, etc makes it clear that these “global issues” are exacerbated by our closely held opinions about “the other.”
Photo: Matt Addington
So we work to unravel the effects of evil that were wrought by Saddam Hussein’s genocidal campaigns, by years of sectarian conflict between Sunni and Shi’i Muslims, and by ethnic struggles.
For example, Kurds, Arabs, and Turkmen are in a political (and possibly cultural) struggle over the historic city of Kirkuk - each laying some sort of ancient claim to the city; each group (generally) vilifying the other. On his Restorative Justice blog, Dr. Howard Zehr talks about our “temptation to emphasize ‘otherness’,” whether it be through photography, storytelling, or our administration of justice. At the Preemptive Love Coalition, we do not deny “otherness” when working between ethnic and tribal prejudices or religious worldview differences. But we try not to make “otherness” our starting point.
Communication guru Joseph Grenny talks about the important role that “storytelling” plays in our emotions and actions. According to Grenny, (1) we make an observation (e.g., Saddam Hussein was an Arab with largely Arab soldiers that attacked our city) and (2) immediately start telling ourselves a story (e.g., therefore all Arabs in Iraq want “our” land and are evil and would kill us if they had the chance) which (3) leads to strong emotions (like fear and hate), thereby (4) triggering fight/flight instincts inside us such as protectionist policies or aggressive police (or vigilante) action. The fork in the road is that first story we tell ourselves when faced with an observable fact.
Photo: Ben Hodson
Torture used by Saddam’s Baath Party in the “Red Security” building leaves an easy “observable fact” as the basis of an errant Kurdish story against all Arabs.
You can see how this plays out closer to home, as well. Observable fact: Men who wrapped themselves in Islam attacked America on September 11, 2001. But the stories that have flowed from that fact have been varied. And the emotions that arise from those stories have been serious and sincere. And over the past decade the actions that have come out of those various emotions have changed the course of world politics, international relations, and daily life for millions.
So when you donate, host an event, or buy a tshirt or pair of shoes, you are engaged in something bigger than the shuffling of money from one place to another to save a child’s life. We give people over “here” a tangible opportunity to save a life over “there” and to see “those” people as exactly that: people. Humans. Sons and daughters. We are all more than the images we receive from the professional media. It’s not “us” helping “them” get over “their” problems. It’s “us” becoming reconciled with “us”.
And in case you are wondering… Yes, we are just naive enough to believe that when we start seeing each less as other and more as brother these “global issues” might start to change too. And if they don’t… well, we are still committed to making change in the neighborhoods where we live and work; to be people of peace - whether anyone joins us on the journey or not.
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Jeremy Courtney lives and loves in Iraq as a co-founder and Executive Director of the Preemptive Love Coalition. He's also the father of two spectacular children, and married to the lovely Jessica Courtney. When not absorbed in PLC work he can be found writing songs and singing about hope and future. |
Hamma Cleared for Tuesday Flight Home to Iraq
January 19, 2010 by Jeremy · Leave a Comment
Just two weeks after leaving Iraq it’s exciting to know see Hamma headed out of Turkey on a Tuesday flight home to Iraq! More pictures of his progress to come once he lands back with his family and has some time to rest in Iraq…
One thing has been driven home through our work in Iraq this week: all other things equal, most Iraqis prefer to travel to Iran or Jordan for urgent and non-urgent medical care. Both Iran and Jordan have a history of helping Iraqi refugees and providing safe-haven during difficult times. On the other hand, among most Kurds (at least) in northern Iraq, there is a stigmatization of Turkey as a country that oppresses their own Kurdish minority, though much (unfortunately, not all) of those policies and pogroms have largely ceased in the last ten years.
Anadolu Medical Center is helping change the way people in Iraq think about their neighbors to the north. When Hamma’s mom lands back in country she will be faced with questions about “the Turks.” How were they? Were you scared to speak your language or be identified as a Kurd? Etc. She will pass on story after story of how she was respected and cared for. And by changing the way we think about each other, we just might be able to change the way we treat and relate to each other.
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Isn’t it amazing to watch life-saving in progress? We are able to do this because thousands of people like you have given $10, $25, and $50 - or whatever they could - to impact the future of kids in Iraq. |
Follow Hamma on Twitter: @HammaDana. Subscribe to Hamma’s updates via RSS HERE. Follow Hamma’s thread of longer stories (with pictures & video) on the PLC blog HERE.
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Jeremy Courtney lives and loves in Iraq as a co-founder and Executive Director of the Preemptive Love Coalition. He's also the father of two spectacular children, and married to the lovely Jessica Courtney. When not absorbed in PLC work he can be found writing songs and singing about hope and future. |
Mohammed Wide Awake and Well in ICU
January 14, 2010 by Jeremy · Leave a Comment
No news is great news when your baby is resting in ICU. We don’t have much new to report, but it’s great to see Mohammed awake and doing well in ICU today. Hopefully tomorrow could bring extubation… This slow, steady progress is great!
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Isn’t it amazing to watch life-saving in progress? We are able to do this because thousands of people like you have given $10, $25, and $50 - or whatever they could - to impact the future of kids in Iraq. |
Follow Mohammed on Twitter: @MohammedUmed. Subscribe to Mohammed’s updates via RSS HERE. Follow Mohammed’s thread of longer stories (with pictures & video) on the PLC blog HERE.
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Jeremy Courtney lives and loves in Iraq as a co-founder and Executive Director of the Preemptive Love Coalition. He's also the father of two spectacular children, and married to the lovely Jessica Courtney. When not absorbed in PLC work he can be found writing songs and singing about hope and future. |
Mohammed’s Surgery Great Success; No More Blue Baby; All is Pink!
January 13, 2010 by Jeremy · Leave a Comment
Mohammed’s surgery was a great success. He is resting in ICU (intubated). And most importantly, his skin is no longer blue from lack of oxygenation. He is PINK for the first time in his life!
Dad is happy and thankful in Iraq. Mom’s fears and worries are considerably eased tonight as she lays down to rest. Extubation might happen in the next day or two. But as we’ve seen this week, all celebrations are tentative until that critical threshold.
More to come… thanks for the impact you’ve made this week!
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Isn’t it amazing to watch life-saving in progress? We are able to do this because thousands of people like you have given $10, $25, and $50 - or whatever they could - to impact the future of kids in Iraq. |
Follow Mohammed on Twitter: @MohammedUmed. Subscribe to Mohammed’s updates via RSS HERE. Follow Mohammed’s thread of longer stories (with pictures & video) on the PLC blog HERE.
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Jeremy Courtney lives and loves in Iraq as a co-founder and Executive Director of the Preemptive Love Coalition. He's also the father of two spectacular children, and married to the lovely Jessica Courtney. When not absorbed in PLC work he can be found writing songs and singing about hope and future. |
Mohammed Goes to Surgery After Days Fighting Fever
January 13, 2010 by Jeremy · Leave a Comment
After days waiting, watching, and being anxious about her son’s well being, Mohammed’s mom is relieved to finally send him off to surgery. It’s been a rough week in Istanbul - mixed with joy and sorrow - so we know that that her anxieties are heightened as she hands him over to foreign nurses and doctors.
But this surgery is the strongest chance Mohammed will ever have at living a healthy life. And that’s why the hospital is such fertile ground for peacemaking and changing the way we think about each other. As these Turkish nurses and doctors love her family, it’s not just Mohammed’s heart that is changed; it’s her heart and her family’s collective worldview that is affected as well - giving a real chance at mitigating some of the hatred that between Turks and Kurds after decades of active struggle.
Mohammed is headed to surgery right now… more to come.
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Isn’t it amazing to watch life-saving in progress? We are able to do this because thousands of people like you have given $10, $25, and $50 - or whatever they could - to impact the future of kids in Iraq. |
Follow Mohammed on Twitter: @MohammedUmed. Subscribe to Mohammed’s updates via RSS HERE. Follow Mohammed’s thread of longer stories (with pictures & video) on the PLC blog HERE.
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Jeremy Courtney lives and loves in Iraq as a co-founder and Executive Director of the Preemptive Love Coalition. He's also the father of two spectacular children, and married to the lovely Jessica Courtney. When not absorbed in PLC work he can be found writing songs and singing about hope and future. |
Soma Salah Has Passed Away Due to a Blood Clot in Lungs (b. July 24, 2009 - d. January 10, 2010)
January 11, 2010 by Jeremy · Leave a Comment
It’s with a heavy heart that I write today to say that Baby Soma passed away at 11:45 p.m., Sunday, January 10th, 2010. I had just gotten off the phone with the church in Texas that funded her surgery and given them the update about her serious condition, while thanking them for taking a risk on her surgery. I didn’t know it at the time, but as they finished their lunch in Texas, Soma’s life was on the line in Istanbul.
It was a blood clot in her lungs - something for which the ECMO machine couldn’t compensate. The surgeons left the comfort of their homes and families in the middle of the night to respond but there was nothing to be done.
Last week I said that the Preemptive Love Coalition was not a heart surgery organization, as though chalking up another heart surgery was of some importance. I said we were a HOPE BANK where parents come for hope transfusions - a global family alongside whom Iraqi families could stand in the face of hopelessness, and finally see light at the end of the dark night. And I said that it was for long-term impact that we had decided to take the risk on Soma’s surgery.
So how should we understand our decision today? Did we make the right choice? Did we hasten her death? Was it worth it? Was it a failure? Are we complicit?
Everyone will judge us by their own criterion. Indeed, our own answers and emotions have run the gammut this week. This was a huge surprise for us. We had braced ourselves for long-term loss. We were entirely unprepared for loss in the short-term (even though the doctors had only offered a sobering 65% chance of her surviving ICU).
From an organizational stand point, I owe you an answer as to whether or not we count this as a success or failure so you know what to expect from us in the future.
1. This is a failure. We don’t exist for heart surgeries. We exist to impact the children who are most “impactable” for the long-term. In fact, we turn many children away because their long-term well-being is best served by non-surgical solutions. All other things being equal (and they never are), we would use our limited resources to offer surgery to a child who is most likely to be alive with a healthy heart in sixty years before we help a child who will be hanging on by a thread with a dying heart at twenty. In that sense, we invested our money in a bit of a gamble with Soma because we knew that there were other kids back in Iraq who were more highly “impactable.” It would be easy to argue that we didn’t make it past good intentions this time and that this was an “impact fail.” We welcome that critique. And if that is how you’d like your money invested, we are here to put your money to work. At the same time…
2. This is a success. The Preemptive Love Coalition consistently offers hope, help, and life-saving heart surgeries to children that have been rejected by one or more of the other options available to them. Whether it is a question of resource allocation, ethical priorities, or surgical skill, many of the lives we have successfully saved have been turned down by the government, local, or international groups - including Kadeeja, Heran, and Ahmed . We were - as far as anyone knew - their last chance; their last hope. Soma was one of these.
We spoke seriously with Soma’s parents about the risks. In the end, it was not really the Preemptive Love Coalition who decided to do the surgery. What we did was give them the green light to use our funds and choose for themselves. They chose to risk it and in that limited sense, we gave the family what they asked for - a chance at life. And that chance - that hope - is precisely what they had not found in any other government, hospital, or organization. We told them We love you. You matter to us and to God.. From the hope perspective; from the love perspective, this was not a failure. We chose to love; and love deeply.
3. Still, this is a wake up call. We have asked you a number of times what kind of organization you would have us be. Your overwhelming answer is that you’d like us to be people of the last chance. Some families in Iraq are unnervingly content to sit by and deny their children are dying. We’ve seen it a number of times. It defies all reason. But many more are ready to risk it all for a chance to see their 7 month old learn to crawl, go to school, and marry someday. For those families, you’ve declared your intention to stand by their side. And we have used your financial gifts to fulfill your wishes.
Soma stands as a monument of hope for other Last Chance Children. We don’t have to burry her story with her body for fear that it will reflect negatively on our work; for fear that fewer Iraqi children will be helped because of the “bad press.” To us, this isn’t bad press. This is love in motion.
Jon Foreman sings, “If it doesn’t break your heart it isn’t love.”
This is a wake up call because there are going to be more little babies like Soma that break our hearts. Brace yourselves. If you’re in this for the long haul with us, we can promise you:
- 1. We will give it everything we have and we will give families HOPE and a shot at life.
- 2. We will see more death.
- 3. We will love until we bleed out and have nothing left.
With you,
Jeremy Courtney
Executive Director
jeremy [at] preemptivelove.org
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Jeremy Courtney lives and loves in Iraq as a co-founder and Executive Director of the Preemptive Love Coalition. He's also the father of two spectacular children, and married to the lovely Jessica Courtney. When not absorbed in PLC work he can be found writing songs and singing about hope and future. |
Danar is Fit to Fly Home on Tuesday; Takes with Him a Message of Peace
January 11, 2010 by Jeremy · Leave a Comment
All of Danar’s follow-up echos and tests show that he is doing extremely well! He has been deemed “fit to fly” home to Iraq on Tuesday. And when he and his mom do make it home, they will take with them - forever take with them - a different-than-usual story about the Turks to the north of them and the Americans who came from the West to their country.
Life-saving heart surgery; life-changing experiences of “the other”; of the person different from me; of that kind of person. What difference a week can make!
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Isn’t it amazing to watch life-saving in progress? We are able to do this because thousands of people like you have given $10, $25, and $50 - or whatever they could - to impact the future of kids in Iraq. |
Follow 3-year-old Danar on Twitter: @danarsami. Subscribe to Danar’s updates via RSS HERE. Follow Danar’s thread of longer stories (with pictures & video) on the PLC blog HERE.
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Jeremy Courtney lives and loves in Iraq as a co-founder and Executive Director of the Preemptive Love Coalition. He's also the father of two spectacular children, and married to the lovely Jessica Courtney. When not absorbed in PLC work he can be found writing songs and singing about hope and future. |
Hamma Discharged to His Private Room; Parents Finally Can Believe That Others Actually Love Them
January 9, 2010 by Jeremy · 1 Comment
I mentioned a few days ago that Hamma’s family had been swindled out of a 5 digit sum of money last year in their quest to serve their son with life-saving heart surgery when a group from a neighboring country posed as a charity took their cash and fled the country, leaving Hamma to die and the family to suffer in financial ruin. Understandably, this made Hamma’s family considerably gun shy when we started talking to them about our family participation requirement and our desire to create local solutions to local problems.
Will they take our money, too? Can they be trusted? What’s to become of us if we risk it again and this time lose our son?
Thankfully, they took the risk… and today they are reaping the joy! Hamma is out of ICU and back in his room. And - of equal importance - Hamma’s family has come to understand that we love them, as they are, for who they are; that we are not out to get them but be friends with them.
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Isn’t it amazing to watch life-saving in progress? We are able to do this because thousands of people like you have given $10, $25, and $50 - or whatever they could - to impact the future of kids in Iraq. |
Follow Hamma on Twitter: @HammaDana. Subscribe to Hamma’s updates via RSS HERE. Follow Hamma’s thread of longer stories (with pictures & video) on the PLC blog HERE.
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Jeremy Courtney lives and loves in Iraq as a co-founder and Executive Director of the Preemptive Love Coalition. He's also the father of two spectacular children, and married to the lovely Jessica Courtney. When not absorbed in PLC work he can be found writing songs and singing about hope and future. |
Soma’s Surgery a Success, Lung Problems Keep Her on Machine in ICU, Chest Still Opened
January 9, 2010 by Jeremy · 1 Comment
We do not want to be unnecessarily graphic; but do want to convey the gravity of Soma’s situation right now.
Her valve was almost completely “gone” once doctors got to it on Friday, having already cooled her body temperature to 20 degree C. The valve repair went well and we met with Dr. Sertaç Çiçek in the 6th hour of the surgery as his team began warming her body back up to 36 degrees C.
One and a half hours later they came back out and told us that her lungs had some problems after taking her off the heart-and-lung machine and they decided to put her on “extracorporeal membrane oxygenation” (ECMO) - a machine that effectively assists or replaces the lungs. So her heart is pumping, but ECMO is oxygenating her blood right now.
In the consult he estimated that she had a 65-75% of surviving ICU, saying Soma is in “satisfactory, but critical condition.”
Today the ICU nurses attending to Soma said she had a great night in ICU and was “doing a little better than before.” She will almost certainly be on ECMO with few changes for the next few days. In the meantime, please pray for her lungs to heal, her heart to strengthen, and her mother to remain at peace.
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Isn’t it amazing to watch life-saving in progress? We are able to do this because thousands of people like you have given $10, $25, and $50 - or whatever they could - to impact the future of kids in Iraq. |
Follow baby Soma on Twitter: @SomaSalah. Subscribe to Soma’s updates via RSS HERE. Follow Soma’s thread of longer stories (with pictures & video) on the PLC blog HERE.
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Jeremy Courtney lives and loves in Iraq as a co-founder and Executive Director of the Preemptive Love Coalition. He's also the father of two spectacular children, and married to the lovely Jessica Courtney. When not absorbed in PLC work he can be found writing songs and singing about hope and future. |
Danar Discharged to His Private Room; Mom Laughs for Joy At His New Life Ahead
January 9, 2010 by Jeremy · Leave a Comment
We’ve been on this journey with Danar and his family for a few months now. In fact, we know Danar because of a child named Honya we helped back in February 2009. But in all our history with this family, we’ve not seen smiles and happiness; openness, hope, and joy for the future like we saw today.
It’s hard to put this in to words. We trust that the smiles above convey the deep impact you’ve made on the future of Danar, his mom, his dad, their extended family, and the previously destroyed village in Iraq in which they live.
These smiles - and the depth of hope they convey - are one of the primary things we aim for in our work.
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Isn’t it amazing to watch life-saving in progress? We are able to do this because thousands of people like you have given $10, $25, and $50 - or whatever they could - to impact the future of kids in Iraq. |
Follow 3-year-old Danar on Twitter: @danarsami. Subscribe to Danar’s updates via RSS HERE. Follow Danar’s thread of longer stories (with pictures & video) on the PLC blog HERE.
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Jeremy Courtney lives and loves in Iraq as a co-founder and Executive Director of the Preemptive Love Coalition. He's also the father of two spectacular children, and married to the lovely Jessica Courtney. When not absorbed in PLC work he can be found writing songs and singing about hope and future. |
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